Friday, July 26, 2013

Fuck Yeah, Underwear!

Here's the goods! Super nice packaging!
So if you blog long enough maybe someone will come along and ask you to review a product in exchange for getting to keep the product. Like a free thing. Like you get to have something and it's free. Like you didn't have to pay for it. That's me and my new best friend, Rounderwear. Dear sweet baby Jesus, go there at once and just LOOK at the models that they have on their website! You know how you take your kids to shop at H & M and you "let them stand in line" while you go look at the David Beckham underwear display? Well THIS is so much better!

(Pause for you clicking the link above. I know, right?)

Maybe I asked my family every day if my free stuff arrived in the mail. Maybe I assumed my free stuff was stolen by porch-package thieves. Maybe I had given up hope of anything good ever happening to me.

Then it arrived.

For one whole day, I just looked at it. I looked at the cardboard container it came in and I looked at the amazing plastic packaging encasing it.

Then I took it out.

I stroked it gently with my fingers. I examined all of its soft curves. It succumbed to my gentle touch. Our anatomies were waiting to be connected in the most intimate of ways.
Yeah, this AND your business? Oh, snap!


But first. Some planning.

I made a point to do some "much needed 'scaping" as I assumed "the young" do before embarking on fancy-garment-involving, butt-lifting activities. An event was decided upon at which to present my new silhouette. Maybe the event involved Wang Chung, maybe it didn't (no, it totally did, but the show is Saturday, and I have nothing to do tonight, so I did a trial run so that I could post early).

OMG! This shit is crazy!!! Think of a bra for your butt. I'm 45 years of age. I have some "business to attend to." ALL of that shit was contained. ALL. OF. THAT. SHIT. My husband has a vomit-mouthed list of amazing things to say about my my butt in these underwear. And according to David, you could almost get away with wearing a pants size smaller because, "All of your stuff is contained right in the middle of the target area." Not too high. Not too low. Just right. If you order a pair for yourself, consider going larger than your normal size. While mine fit pretty well, there's a tiny bit of "sausage leg".

I looked at similar products (namely Spanx), and their prices were CRAZY higher than the prices of these products. And Rounderwear's things are way more attractive. I will FOR SURE be wearing my new undergarment to my 80's extravaganza. You know... Stretch pants... Eye liner... Shoulder exposed...

BUTT FROM THE 80'S...

THANK YOU ROUNDERWEAR!!! I assure you, it will be a fun night. A Wang Chung night!

2 comments:

  1. Love this blog post! I can't wait to see your 80s butt.

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  2. I'll be waiting on that stretch pants and eyeliner business. I may even start my own blog...something along the lines of "New Wave Milfs" or something catchy like that.

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