Sunday, April 28, 2013

You Sick Bastard

You posted something on Facebook and NO ONE has liked it. You thought that there might be people on Facebook early on a Sunday. You thought that you had friends who woke up pretty early. You're friends with a LOT of parents. Parents wake up pretty early. Like most of your Facebook friends are parents because you have your friends that you've shared family life with in Columbus and those that you've shared a past with who now have kids. You thought THOSE people might be on Facebook on a Sunday morning. Like really, it's Sunday morning. Why don't they like your status update? Are they all pulling away from you? Are you on an island? Do they hate you? Are you invisible?

"Oh, I'm sure that's just you, Sharon."

Is it?

If you're like some super unstable people you spend a lot of your time worrying about what other people think of you. You might even lean over your desk to your co-worker and ask, "Do you hate me?" They look at you sideways and tell you that they are trying to get the newsletter out on time.

"Oh, I'm sure that's just you, Sharon."

Is it?

O.k. you sick bastard... Breathe in... Breathe out...

Let's pretend for a minute that no one was ever again capable of giving a complement, of responding to a good deed, of telling you that what you thought mattered...

...Of responding in any way...

...

Are you o.k. with that?

Are you comfortable with yourself? Do YOU think you are a good person? Do YOU think that what you contribute matters? Do YOU want to leave this world a better place? Do YOU care if others even notice? Are you REALLY o.k. if NO ONE notices? Would you STILL want to make the world a better place? Would you???

Of course you would. Don't be stupid.

And spend less time on Facebook.






13 comments:

  1. I have been so wacky lately - started a new job and I'm double-thinking everything, being over-sensitive and ultra-paranoid. I mostly blame the hormones, but FB is to blame, too, just because.

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  2. Oh man, just let them all melt away. You are an awesome human! Awesomeness will prevail!

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    1. I'm trying!! Thanks Sharon - we are awesome, but sometimes it's difficult to remember that.

      (sometimes things/emotions are just too bright - like when you go outside after being in theater in the middle of the afternoon - and the sun kind of hurts your entire body)

      ((gosh I sound like a nutcase))

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    2. Lol! You are NOT a nutcase! Or maybe we are ALL nutcases! Either way, I'm glad that you're my friend.

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  3. oh em gee sharon. Even though this is somewhat sad, it's said in a way that is so funny and strangely uplifting. I love you!

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  4. I know I have an empty hole in me because I'm not close to anyone right now...live an hour away from sibs (Love them, but always felt like I didn't fit in with rest of 'em...I'm oldest of 10: classic oldest kid thing?). Parents are dead ( always felt weird about that relationship,too.. I was some kind of changeling who challenged everything they believed). Divorced for 8 years after 21. Adult sons are making their own lives and have less time for me, which is ok, and I understand it. I'm shy, not splashy, work an easy mediocre job with younger people. I don't watch TV. I love art and creativity and I read a lot and have too many cats. Sick sad bastard, indeed! But I AM nice, and I try to keep a sense of humor, and try to make stupid little things better whether anyone notices or not because it makes me feel good. Whether or not anybody gets it or "likes"it. It IS cool that there is a little (illusory?) community of like minds in cyberspace..I go blog skipping and read and see good stuff---it's reassuring. So thanks for that. And I love and laugh almost every time at the labels after your posts. They're poetry!

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  5. Oh Mary Jo... Wrap your arms around you right now... Imagine that's me hugging you. You are a wonderful person! And community, even a virtual community is like a warm blanket. Divorce is soul crushing. Even an amicable split leaves nasty scars and sometimes festering wounds. No matter what people say, there's just no full recovery. There IS community.

    I am part of your community and I love you and you are important. AND I fully support your cat collection. I joke a lot and tell people who have kids that they would probably have been better off with a dog. Maybe that's not 100% a joke.

    <3

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  6. Whew, thank you so much. All night long I was fretting about what I wrote, how I went on too long, etc. I'm glad you "got" it. Facebook is like "my show"--can't help but tune in every day. And it IS sweet to have what you contribute to ongoing conversations acknowledged....just, thanks!

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    1. OMG! I do the same thing! No matter what I do publicly, be it attend a social event, order something at the drive through, publish a blog post... I always get a little Irritable Bowel Syndrome-y afterward. We're fretters! That's normal (relatively speaking, lol).

      Have a great day today!

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    2. Me as well! - I cannot even begin to numerate the times I have deleted posts on FB, or stayed awake all night worrying that I said the wrong thing at a social function!

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