Wednesday, December 26, 2012

I HATE Snow!

A picture of a plastic snowman because I hate snow so much I don't even want a real snow image in my camera.
I just fucking hate snow. O.k., so I got sent home from work which is great, but I can't go anywhere which is bullshit. Here's the thing. I probably wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway. But when you CAN'T go anywhere it feels like you're recovering from surgery... Without Percocets! You're stuck. And that makes me depressed.

"Sharon, maybe you could use this time to make something?"

"I'm trying, but all I can think of is how much snow sucks and how I really, really hate when people say, 'Oh, I just love snow, it's SO beautiful!'"

Like sometimes we watch that living-in-Alaska reality show and I feel disgust. And don't get me started on people who go on Alaska cruises. OMG! What on earth could possibly be wonderful about ice and snow? Is it the polar bears? I'm sorry, but they look weird and act stupid.

"Seriously, you're capping on polar bears?"

"It's the snow! It makes me crazy!"

O.k., looking back on the last couple of days, perhaps the crazies COULD be from 99% of my calories coming from cookies. And here I thought Christmas cookies held magical powers.

Maybe that's what Satan wants you to believe.

And we just got weird.

O.k. before I alienate everyone, I leave you one more reason to hate snow. The creepy-ass Snow Miser. GROSS!




Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Happy Holidays!


Below is a short cartoon that is simply delightful. Enjoy!


Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Real-Live Dirt on a First-Ever Mammogram


Fontainebleau school (late 16th century)
Presumed Portrait of Gabrielle d'Estrées and Her Sister, the Duchess of Villars

There was a light fog. I pulled into a mostly empty parking lot, parked my car, and took a deep breath. I didn't really know what to expect, and I guess I was more than a little nervous. As I got out and started walking toward the building I became aware that the facility looked a little bit like Whetstone Recreation Center, although this building was set farther back from the lot and it looked very old. I walked in and looked around for someone to acknowledge my scheduled presence and to tell me where to sit and to perhaps ask me to fill out a form of some kind. While seeking out a competent human I quickly noticed that the inside of the building looked a lot like a warehouse. So weird! Suddenly a person rounded the corner riding a forklift and proceeded to stack and unstack pallets of unidentified, shrink-wrapped items. Turning back toward the entrance I was startled by a woman who seemed to appear out of nowhere who I perceived to be the receptionist. She informed me that I would be called when it was my turn and to just be patient. It was then that I saw at the end of the receptionist's area small tables situated side-by-side with women leaning against each with their bare breasts on metal plates at each station. Apparently this was what I was here for. As I waited I walked around and wondered just how long until it would be my turn. Just then a large group of school children (over a hundred of them?) filed in and sat at long cafeteria tables and proceeded to eat their lunches. "Sharon Dorsey!" Oh, it's my turn! I was told that I should put my breasts on a plate at one of the stations. I told the receptionist that it was highly unacceptable to be asked to do this with the school children eating their lunches in the same area. She said that they had every right to be there, it was their cafeteria. I waited a very long time with my breasts on the table until I finally became frustrated and asked what was taking so long. The receptionist, becoming irritated with my attitude, snapped at me and said that the doctor had just left for lunch and would be back in about an hour.

And then I woke up.

Anxiety-filled dream much?

Here's the reality... OMG, SO easy! I really thought it would hurt, but it was not even CLOSE to a big deal. Zero pain, just generally weird. And while I'm sure men would do just fine as a mammogrammer (I think that should be the official job title), I don't know that I would want some dude doing the amount of bread kneading required to get all of my parts in the right place. And quick! Like in and out within 15 minutes. Booyah!

Ladies, PLEASE don't let this one go ignored. Succumbing to a tiny amount of annoyance can really save a life. No brainer? Let's say yes.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Post Thanksgiving Post

Vince, Mark, Steph, and Ghost Dave at Jefferson Hall
I reeeally love Thanksgiving. There's something about a holiday that compels most people to really reflect on everything they have. It is nice... And it involves a bit of feasting. I do love feasting.

Tied for number one on my thankfulness list this year: Friends and family. New marriages mean slowly getting to know a whole new set of relatives, and I couldn't be more blessed. And friends... Oh man, I feel very indebted to many friends in circles of varying circumferences. My friends and family make me a relatively sane individual and keep me motivated to emerge from my bed every morning.

And I'm super thankful for road trips! Last weekend David and I were able to have a small getaway to see friends, putz around, and relax. It was nice... And it involved a bit of the following:
Written on a window at Starbucks.

Our view of Cincinnati from our hotel in Covington.

Stopped at a flea market. MANY tables of Hostess snacks. RIP Hostess...

A pile of rusty tools. LOVE!

A cow skull painted with blue craft paint and then sprinkled with glitter.

Hell yes!

And then there's this guy...

Monday, October 15, 2012

OH-EM-GEE!



"Remembrance Tree #2: Resurrection"
"Remembrance Tree #1: Begin Again"
Holy shit, do I need a day off! 

"Sharon, aren't you actually, right now, having a day off?"

"Oh yeah..."

ANNND I'm all by myself! ANNND I thought I had a work meeting to briefly attend today, but it's actually tomorrow. ANNND I might actually get to finish unpacking all the art/antiques so that I'm surrounded by lovely things. ANNND I'm running errands alone... Which I actually don't like... But it will be a "growth experience!"

"What's the haps, Sharon? Why so exhausted?"

"See the above photos!"

So I had to wait until we moved before I could start on my pieces for Por Vida so that I could set up a space to work and locate all of my packed supplies. Which all happened a WEEK before the due date. DOH! So pretty much ALL last weekend and every morning before work and until midnight after work I worked on these two sculptures. Even though shit was craaay, these were some of the most fulfilling things I've ever worked on. Like a true birthing experience. Which is why I am spent. SPENT, I TELL YOU!!!

Here's the tiny blurb about these pieces...

"For Por Vida V, Sharon created two Remembrance Tree sculptures. Planting a remembrance tree has been done historically to tangibly mark the passing of a loved one. The trees created for Por Vida V are not specific for an individual loved one but instead glorify the re-creation inherent in the life-death-life cycle."

I hope I get to see you at the event!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Ashes to Ashes...

Visit dodevent.blogspot.com for more info!


I am again blessed to participate in one of my favorite art shows of all year (see link above or on the side bar for more info). To couple the creation of artwork with an event that celebrates the remembrance of parted loved ones is a match made in heaven for me. For this year I am creating two remembrance tree sculptures. They will explore the theme of birth-life-death-resurrection that often emerges in my work. Huge thanks to Kat Moya for once again allowing me to participate. This event is always an emotional experience for me, and to contribute in a substantial way is a true honor.


"Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto his glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself."

-Book of Common Prayer 

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Despite everything...




Despite poor parenting skills, despite instability, despite a lack of presence, despite... despite... despite...


... these kids will touch the stars and shine like the sun.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Till Death...

Mondays, right? Well, while YOU folks are busy slaving away for The Man, I will be driving to Hocking Hills to attend my boss's beautiful, woods-y wedding! What a perfect day! For her wedding gift I made her and her betrothed a custom cake topper. Whilst making the aforementioned cake topper I realized that caketopperism is quite the bridal-biz racket. Like $100-$200/per topper type of racket. I likes me them numbers. Hmmm...

Congratulations, Courtney and Dennis! May all of your days be full of love!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Window Photos

Photo by Laura from Rivet!


Photo by Laura from Rivet!
Photo by Laura from Rivet!
This was a great experience! And I'm glad it's over...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

"I'm every nightmare you've ever had!"

O.k., it's not quite Pennywise-bad, but holy shit, I have indeed lost a little sleep over the last few days. In case you're new here, I'm in the process of creating about a dozen pieces to help fill out a clown-themed window display for What the Rock?! for September. And while I'm usually quite good at time management, I seemed to have grossly miscalculated the manufacturing time of a few items. Last minute scrambling makes art feel not so fun. Grrr...

Deep breath. Martini sip. Another deep breath. Another martini sip.

But I have one more night. And many items are finished or nearly so. And I'm going to play World of Warcraft most of the day on Sunday and take a long run through the park. That will be nice.

If you're out and about for Gallery Hop this Saturday, you will get to see the window during it's first full day of displayness. And I might be hanging out in the store or next door at Rivet, so please come find me and tell me what you think. And if you don't like it... just please lie.


Sunday, August 12, 2012

On Clowns...

One of several masks and other clown-related items for What the Rock?!'s September window display.

When I mentioned that I was going to create a clown-themed window display, more often than not folks were less than supportive of the idea. The overall consensus was that clowns = things to avoid. But "You gotta do you!" is a mantra I try to live by (for better or for worse), so ONWARD CLOWN-MAKING!

It did make me wonder though why I have such a love for clowns when of all phobias, coulrophobia (fear of clowns) is among one of the most popular of the bunch. For the most part, I have phobias-a-plenty (most of the environment-related ones, all of the disease/parasite/medical-related ones, driving down High Street, people, etc.), so for someone prone to fear you would think that clowns would be a "sure thing". I guess what draws me to clowns is the controlled mystery. The ability to hide while still being present. The ability to perform then to disappear. To be able to take it off. Wash it away. Return to the mundane. If that's not the most romantic notion ever, I'm not sure what is.

So please, if you are not prone to clown anxiety, stop by and see the fruits of my current passion and be entertained, repulsed or something in between.


I think we all have the urge to be a clown, whether we know it or not.
-Ernest Borgnine  

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Quay Brothers


Sigh...

Just got back from seeing the Quay Brothers at the Wexner Center along with their short films Through the Weeping Glass and Maska.

Dear Misters Quay:

You have completely restored my faith in humanity (mainly, celebrities) by being the awesomest people ever. Your humility and gratitude toward every opportunity you've been given makes me practically weep fangirl tears (for real!). Your steadfast dedication to your artistic voice and seeming distaste for big corporate production money is truly heartwarming. You are an inspiration to me and I thank you deeply for who you are and what you do. Amen.

Oh, and I hope you aren't creeped out by this but I might have stolen the water bottle that Timothy drank from.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

If you need me, I'll be in Azeroth...

Totally crushin'!
I wish I could be more present in RL (real life), but HOLY SHIT, there's only so much vodka that's safe to consume. So... I present (dah, dah, dah-dahhh!) Gorleb, my Dwarf Paladin.

"Hey, Gorleb, is that a beer mug that you're currently equipped with to do mass damage to npc's (non-player characters)?"

"Aye!"

"DAMN, you look so fine!"

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Randomness

So I just took several weeks of photos off of the camera today. Here's what we've been up to...
Someone turned 17!

Danger!

Cat in a box. Never gets old.

Someone wrote "dub step" in tape in a Taco Bell parking space.

Antiquing in Wapakoneta. Prince Albert in a can.

So pretty!

OMG! Love!

Bucket list purchase! Some day you will be mine!

But today, this one will be going home with me!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE COME!

This Saturday during Grandview Hop Cow Town Lowbrow will be having a reception to welcome you to view the exhibit, Blood Lines. More information about the event can be obtained HERE.

I'm 3/4 of the way finished with four new pieces for the exhibit. I'm excited to see what everyone else will be contributing!

I would LOVE for you to come! I would like to hug you if that's o.k.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Oh, HELLLLL No!

NEW in the store! Click HERE!

NEW in the store! Click HERE!

Unfortunately the ONE thing I DO finish is this stuff. But FINALLY a super-fun project I can work on while watching t.v. in bed!!!

Oh, God, Sharon, seriously?

You're welcome...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Pride

"May all of your dreams come true.
I want this for you."

Hug your LGBT brothers and sisters, children and parents, friends and enemies. This weekend and always.

Much love,
Sharon

Sunday, June 10, 2012

But We're So Happy


I can't tell you the last time I've been in the house by myself for this long. I get a little touched in the head when I'm left with my own thoughts for company. It's like a Tim Burton movie up inside there with the colors all desaturated, some oversaturated, and some serious overacting. I don't NOT like being a nutter... But I think if left alone for too long I will start dissecting pets or eating raw meat.

So anyway...

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I suck and that if I'm ever caught making claims on this blog about what I plan to accomplish please remind me that almost ALL of my ideas almost NEVER come to pass. Holy shit, I feel like I'm 9 years old. You know when you used to go to your parents every other week and tell them you were going to be like King of Azeroth or a train conductor or some such thing when in reality you probably grew up to be an accountant?

Sometimes we dream too big.

"Sharon, maybe you should just make stuff, then if you like it you can share it?"

"O.k., I think I'll try that."

But I won't make any promises. Except to dance to Joy Division.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Farm Envy

Wallace made out like a rock star at the Columbus Arts Festival this weekend. It was an incredibly soul-lifting experience and he is my number-one hero.

But holy shit, getting him ready was a lot of work, and moving his stuff from point A to point B then from point B and back again has my 40+ body in need of repair. So I took today off to take a beautiful drive with Davey to Wapakoneta to pick up the step kids at their wonderful farm.

I think in a few years I will be ready to get out of the city and be a farm person. I would like to have a guinea pig village and some tiny pigs and lots of chickens and a pond with ducks and fields and fields of purple flowers and some fruit trees. OH, AND A SHEEP!!! And I want there to be metal things everywhere covered in glorious rust!!!

Guinea Hens!

Mr. Guinea Stud!

I LOVE DUCKS!!!

Some other chicken-y birds!

OMG! A WIENER!

Cool farm-y stuff!

Bunnies!

Awesome rusty things!

I don't know what this is, but I love it!

Tire swing!

Holy SHIT! PIGS!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Best Thing Ever, Ever...

Photo taken from Wexner Center's promo for the event.
This will be the best thing!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

So my kids are still sleeping and my amazing husband had to make me the breakfast in bed, but I still think it will be a wonderful Mother's Day. Not as full of expectations as a birthday, but with the freedom to announce, "Fetch me my ______, it's Mother's Day!" Or, "You cannot possibly think I will do ______ for you today, it's Mother's Day!" And I will be traveling to see my own mother to bestow my gratitude and a few tokens of my love for all that she had to endure. I bought her a cute card, but honestly I've been wanting to find a Mother's Day card for ages now that reads something like...

"Thank you for not drowning/stabbing/suffocating us for all those years
while you performed a thankless fucking job with little recognition for your hard work."

And for some reason Hallmark won't return my calls.