Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Holidays!

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Real-Live Dirt on the First Week of Post-Appendectomy Recovery

First off, I just want to point out that I AM NOT A DOCTOR! This advice is purely from one real-live person to another, and if anything adverse happens to you as a result of this info, then that's totally all on you.

Movin' on...

Holy shit, I went on-line to get some answers to the daily morphing my body was experiencing after my appendectomy, and there is just a SEA of crap out there to swim through. Everything from "Do not resume regular activity for six months." to "I just had my surgery on Sunday. Is it cool to go surfing this week?" I am going to tag the crap out of this post in an effort to hopefully help some poor soul find a totally normal person's (relatively speaking) perspective as to what to expect. This is something I wish I could have found, so I'm guessing there will be others who might benefit from the following stuff. I included the part where I get to the hospital as well as the post-op info.

Patient: 43-year-old female, average health, in pretty good shape

Saturday, November 26th, around 11pm: I seriously thought I was having a heart attack. I'm super embarrassed that I jumped to that conclusion, but I had been a little light-headed lately, and my chest sort of hurt, so we called the EMT folks and went to the emergency room. At this point, my stomach hurt (I had been feeling nauseated since about 3pm that day), but I didn't even slightly suspect appendicitis. Later that night (into Sunday), my appendix area KILLLLLLED and I kept throwing up, then they did the thing where they send you into the white tube, and lo and behold, it was swollen. Appendicitis.

Sunday, November 27th, sometime in the afternoon: Had the surgery via laparoscopy, went back to my room. Thought I was going to die. Threw up a bunch more. In blinding pain. My stomach looked like a stab murder scene. I thought they put a baby in there because I looked 7 months pregnant. Ate a few bites of jello that day. Threw that up.

Monday, November 28th: Started to feel a teensy bit better as long as I stayed on top of pain management. Didn't feel nauseated. Ate real food. The thought of doing anything for myself seemed overwhelming, but the-surgeon-who-reeked-of-cigarettes (seriously?) told me I could go home. Got home with much pain and suffering. My biggest incision (bellybutton) started bleeding. Called nurse. She said that it wasn't ABnormal. Felt like there was an alien trying to get out of my stomach (further validating my suspicion that there was a "being" in there). Was told that it was probably all of the gas they pumped into my body cavity during surgery. At this point I felt like there was some serious poooop in my body that needed to come out, but I ignored that feeling as there was no way I was ready to tackle that. AND HOLY SHIT! I went into the hospital weighing 127 and come out weighing 134 even though I barely ate!!! WTF!?!?

Tuesday, November 29th: Had my first shower since Saturday. OMG! That was HUGE in the "feeling better" process! Finding clothes to wear was a challenge. Chose to wear a stretchy skirt that I pulled up to my new "natural waist" which was now right below my armpits. Slept a good portion of the day. Still hurt to do normal stuff. Stayed in bed or at the computer most of the day. Couldn't really be productive in the studio because the Percocet makes you just want to look out the window all day. Stomach looked a little less scary.

Wednesday, November 30th: Still felt the need for pain meds all day, but took an attempt at spreading out the dosage. Hurt to stand up straight. FIRST POO!!! It felt epic (had been taking 6 total Senna tablets per day since coming home from the hospital). Did NOTHING to reduce my swollen belly. WhatEVER! Friend came over to watch t.v. with me that night. That was great!

Thursday, December 1st: Stomach still swollen, but with some reduction. Felt overwhelmingly depressed. Got flowers from work and sobbed uncontrollably. Thought it had something to do with coming off pain meds plus guilt about taking off so much work-time. Really wanted to go to the Thumb Box opening that night. Did not feel quite ready to leave the house. Added to total depression. Only took two pain meds that day. By the end of the day, things were hurtin'! Belly started turning all yellow and bruise-y.

Friday, December 2nd: Still depressed. Holy crap, belly looked like it had been kicked Kill Bill-style. Pretty much the whole thing was yellow with bruise, and below the main incision it was all purple. Equal parts disgusting and cool. Felt super productive. Took total of two pain meds. didn't really neeeed second one, but was feeling emo, so took it anyway. Still hurt to wear pants. Still sporting the skirt look.

Saturday, December 3rd: If I don't get out of the house, I will stab someone! Needed some groceries. Hubby took me out to eat then to pick up a few things. Had to hold my stomach in the car because it hurt a little to go over bumps or turns. Ate half of dinner then had to hurry through the grocery store because my colon was about to explode. Saw considerable reduction in belly size. I managed to slide some work-out pants on under my skirt (I know, you're all like, "Huh?", but I think I fooled people into thinking it was "a look"). Took a pain med for evening t.v. time.

Sunday, December 4th: ONE WEEK! Starting to feel like I'm approaching fantastic. REALLY can't wait to go back to work on Wednesday. Lifted something around 10 pounds and was fine. BACK TO PRE-SURGERY WEIGHT! Stomach still looks weird, but feel like I'll for sure be ready for real pants by Wednesday. Stomach only slightly bulge-y. One pain med before bed. Amen.

So there! You can do it! One week and you will be at least 80%. I'm at about 87.5% Hope this was helpful! I want to thank my ever-so-patient husband for dealing with me this past week. You rule!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like someone cut you open and ripped out one of your organs?  But maybe they replaced the organ with a baby because when you finally get home and weigh yourself (even though you've eaten only a couple of spoonfuls of Jello) you've gained like FIVE POUNDS! And then you are sure the baby has started kicking because there is definitely something trying to forcefully work its way out of your body cavity.  Not to mention, you LOOK about five months pregnant, and just for decoration you have what looks like three bullet holes in your stomach.


On the plus side, I still was able to finish and turn in (thanks Dave!) pieces for Ohio Art League's Thumb Box Exhibition that opens tomorrow night (thanks guys for giving me a little extra time!).  Almost all of my coworkers, and many of my beloved MAW group will have pieces displayed as well as tons of other talented members!  Someone take pictures of the reception for me!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Styrofoam Fail

There are some hard lessons you learn along the way. I learned one today, and I really want to share it with you so that you do not also make this heinous error. DO NOT USE STYROFOAM AS AN ARMATURE FOR POLYMER CLAY! It will seriously eff your shit up! Styrofoam is a kind of plastic which apparently acts as a foamy Shrinky Dink in the oven, taking your sculpture along with it as it transforms.

I really wanted a smooth armature for my pieces, so I thought a round Styrofoam ball would be perfect. What I should have choosen instead if I wanted to use polymer clay is a foil ball or a wooden ball. Another option would have been to use air-dry clay over Styrofoam.

I'm hoping to repair my pieces with Apoxie Sculpt, but I estimate that that will take another hour. Time is money and stupidity is expensive!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

So what now?

So you're not getting any younger. Have you done all the things you wanted to do in your lifetime? Have you even done half of them? Ten of them?

Dave just asked me tonight, "When you were seventeen, what did you think you wanted to do with your life?" Holy shit! I just wanted to listen to music then someday go to England to listen to my favorite bands live then learn how to make music videos then be hired by my favorite bands to make THEIR music videos.

None of those last several things happened.

The older you get the more your friends want to get together to talk about their "life lists". Most of my friends have made and shared their lists and take pleasure at crossing off things on their lists. We revel together in their larger accomplishments and there's generally good juju surrounding the whole affair.

In regards to my own life list:
-I get stressed out at

Why? It's super easy. You just write down things you want to do before you die.

But what if you don't think you can do the things?

Then you fail. At life.

OMG, Sharon! Snap out of it! Why don't you start with a small list of 20? Here's some things you can think about...

-If you had a year left to live, what would you spend that time doing? Or if you were on your deathbed, what would you regret not having done?
-When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
-Who are your heroes? Why? Is there something about them that you can incorporate into your life?
-What would your three Genie wishes be? What if he gave you 20? Remember that with a Genie, time and money are not factors.
-Is there anywhere that you want to go? Even if it could change your life?

That's something to start on.

Maybe that's something for YOU to start on too?

Let's get started...

Monday, October 17, 2011

Easy Steps To Repurpose a Store Bought-Puppet Theater

I have a little puppet show coming up at the end of the month, so instead of building a theater from scratch (daunting), I decided to save time and purchase an inexpensive one to customize (ka-bam!). After looking on-line I decided to go with the one linked below due to its low cost, looking pretty sturdy, and being made of wood. When I brought it home and assembled it (with the help of my awesome mom who was visiting) I was actually pretty surprised at how well-designed it was. The only thing I didn't like was the kiddie paint job/color scheme (although if you purchase this for your kids they'll probably love it!). SO, maybe you ALSO have a puppet show coming up and want an easy and inexpensive way to customize your theater. I thought so. I'll share with you what I did...

-Imaginarium Puppet Theater (I ordered on-line and picked up at the store to avoid shipping costs)
-E-6000 Adhesive, 3.7 Ounce
-Krylon All Purpose Primers 12 oz. can white
-Craft paint - colors of your choice (I prefer the brand Delta as it often has a higher pigment load compared to most brands)
-Aleene's 8 oz. Original Tacky Glue
-Creativity Street Natural Wood Shapes - 1000 Piece Assortment (this is WAY more than you need, but you'll have tons extra for more projects!)
-Foam letters - optional (available in most craft supply stores)
-Ric rac - optional
-Dazzling Metallic Glaze Acrylic Paint 2 Ounces-Medieval Gold - optional

So before (in the last post) I mentioned how this thing could be accomplished for about 50 bucks. Maybe I'm assuming that everyone is a craft supply hoarder (like someone with two thumbs typing a blog post) and has all of this stuff in their home already (sans theater). Even if you have just a few of the things, you probably will stay safely around the $50 range. And guess what, if you have something similar that can be substituted you should do that.

1. Start by (duh) putting together the theater by following the instructions. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST! Don't be like OTHER people who THINK they know how to put it together only to find after the last knob is attached they find an important part is backwards. Those people are losers. Whose name might begin with an S.
2. Sand down the paint job because that stuff is slippery and paint just won't stick to it.
3. If you want the theater to stay a theater forevermore, apply a bead of E-6000 to all of the joints, especially at the bottom.  I plan to be famous and will need to get the theater in and out of my car many, many times, so I need my sh#t to stick together.
4. Spray a coat of primer.
5. Apply a base coat of whatever paint you are using. Here's a money-saver, if you know someone who just painted a room a cool color, ask if you can have a bit of it. When choosing a color scheme however, remember the curtains that come with the kit are red. You can always just make your own to match YOUR colors, but using the ones included is way less time consuming.
6. While that stuff is drying, go through the wood shapes and find some that you like and play around with a cool design. I stacked some on top of each other to give an added layer/cool effect. Here's a little hint, if you're doing layers and want them different colors, paint them before attaching them together.
7. When you have your design worked out, paint the shapes, let them dry, then glue them together with tacky glue.
8. When your base coat is dry, decide if it needs a second coat (mine did) then proceed accordingly. When all is nice and coated, paint any accent colors and glue the shapes onto the theater with tacky glue.
9. Here's an optional thing you can do if you want to add a little "something extra". Apply a thin layer of metallic glaze with a cloth then rub most of it off with another cloth. It will leave a subtle but awesome effect that will resemble vintage theaters (at least that's what I was going for).
10. If you have ric rac or some such embellishment, you can glue that stuff on as well. Did I just happen to have red ric rac that matches the curtains exactly? Probably.

So here's a picture of my finished theater.  The photo SUCKS because my children have destroyed my expensive camera because I have a camera curse.

Good luck!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Secret

So, a couple years ago I watched "The Secret" with some friends, and while I was secretly all like, "These people really take this shit seriously!" another part of me superduper wanted to believe that if you think up these dream situations then they will eventually collide into your reality. Coincidentally (or not?) I tend to win things. Like random things. Like $20 on a scratch off or a nice prize at a raffle. In my head I am "a winner", and I actually win enough stuff that I joke with those around me in gaming situations that I will probably win because I am that person who wins things. But since I think I'm "a winner" (games winning, not Sheen winning) according to "The Secret" I'm asking for winning to come to me. Pretty simple I guess.

I think I had a point to this story...

Oh yeah! I'm secreting my way into a new business that will be wildly successful! You will not be able to stop buying the products! I will make a living making things! Amen.


So next Tuesday you should come see my friend Mollie have some work at the McConnell Arts Center. Then Thursday you can come see the Strands show at The Carnegie Gallery. Then if you're not doing anything next Saturday, you can see some PBR inspired artwork and see some awesome music at the Megacity Music Marathon (where I'll have a piece that I wanna enter to try for a FREE YEAR OF BEER!)!

I love you guys!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Thursday, July 14, 2011


So I got married! And this one's awesome! I'm so happy! I also married into some kids who are great. All of the combined kids together is like having a houseful of squirrels. But really cute squirrels.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Proud Momma

This little girl has worked soooooo hard this year, and winning two school awards that put a documented stamp on that is HUGE for us! Nora has worked through some learning issues and has fought to keep up with her peers like a prize fighter. She is my not-so-little-anymore-heavyweight-champion-of-the-world!

Enormous thanks to the entire staff at her school for helping to make this possible.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Cock on the Range

So in between the half dozen other events this weekend, you'll totally stop by the JVC tent at Rock on the Range to see me, right? And bring me a beer, right? I'll be making a sculpture of a rooster/man during the event as well as customizing some toys and doing some smaller paintings/drawings.

Just got back from dropping off these pieces with Josh and Nathan. Super nice guys! Super excited to hang out this weekend! Super excited to meet Glenn Danzig (I know it will happen!). Super excited to see YOU when you stop by!

Sunday, May 1, 2011


How are you guys doing? I hope you're all well. I'm by myself in the house after a "blended family" weekend, and the quiet is almost unsettling. Dave gets so paranoid that I'm going to snap with so many kids in the house, but it really does just amplify the funny ass shit that comes with having a number of smaller humans in one living space. Free entertainment!
So May... There's Cinco de Mayo... Mother's Day... Memorial Day... Oh, and JUDGEMENT DAY!!! Holy shit, I had no idea until I drove down High Street and saw the guy holding the sign. I called Dave and asked if he knew about this, and he said that it's a religious "movement" and that these people have been around for a while. Duuuude! I told him that we should probably get married beforehand. Just in case.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Boing boing boing! It's Spring! Let's celebrate! Are you going to Michael's show deal-i-o on Saturday? That would be cool to see you there? I have to turn in a piece this weekend for another show. I have a pic-in-progress of that. WHATWHAT??? Gotta get ready to go dancing! CATTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Sunday, March 20, 2011


So I was going to just show pics of some awesome things that were given to me because I am so blown away at these people's thoughtfulness, but when I went to get the photos off the camera I was surprised with a ton of other pictures that my kids took that I had no idea were on there (apparently permission is no longer needed to borrow my last working camera). But the kid's pictures were so incredibly cool, and the whole thing re-reminded me that there is redemption that can occur in all things. Treasures. Gifts.

But since my first intention was to show you some amazing things, without further ado, below is a little guy I'm naming Renaldo that was given to me by my friend Megan. She found him next door and thought "Sharon will want this!" That is so incredibly thoughtful. I love her. And Renaldo.

Since we're on the subject of awesome dead things, next up is a metal-casted bat skull that David got me from one of my favorite stores of all time, Collier West.

And since we're on the subject of David, who is the best boyfriend in the whole world, below is a mask that he bought me today from Euro Classics in Clintonville. I LOVE THIS MASK! We're not entirely sure of his origins, but he is wooden and I'm pretty sure he has human hair for his hairy parts.

I am blessed.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Virtual Mayhem

So once you've played World of Warcraft, there's a virus that infects you that shows up at various times in your life like a canker sore. You could be washing dishes or driving to work and BAM! It hits you. But unlike a virus that just basically sucks, you miss WoW when you are separated from it and think warm, fuzzy thoughts about it. You start thinking about what your character could be accomplishing if you weren't washing dishes or driving your car... How many missed opportunities your character has endured because you were busy with "jobs".

Our family used to play a LOT many years ago, but life became crazy, and computers were needed for "important" things, and we just stopped playing. After I dropped one of my extra employment situations, WoW started speaking to me again, first in a whisper. "Shaaaron, there is a world of wonder waiting for you... I think there is a warrior inside you that needs to show herself..." It really did whisper that. Then it became like, "Sharon, seriously! Your job is stressful, you need to come home and kick some ass!" So, I gave in.

This is Dilda, my Dwarf Warrior.

Have you been doing more productive things, Sharon? Well, I just finished a piece for my dentist's office. It looks like this.

And I know this sounds weird, but there will be an actual reception on April 28th at the office because this guy has a KILLER collection (like he even has a HUGE Aminah Robinson piece!), so he's going to have a party and show off his stuff and try to get more clients. More details to come.

Later this week, I hope to show you the finished doll that I'm making for my friend Megan. Let's take a bet to see which comes first: Dilda leveling to 15 or Megan's doll being finished this week.

And lastly, I'm sick again. I will try to not infect you. No promises.

Sunday, February 6, 2011


It's a cat on a (in progress) cat painting. Get it? Redundant?

And here's the picture of one of the most awesome-ist birthday presents EVAHRRRRRR!!! As soon as I finish some stuff, he will be getting a makeover. And if you know of his historical origins PLEASE let me know as we have spent HOURS researching this guy, and we still do not know who he is.

Have a great SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ummm... I scared...

It's a horizontal ski resort out there (coated in ice), and as you can see I am avoiding getting ready for work. I'm already one of the WORSTEST drivers in the world. So I'm mentally preparing myself for a morning and evening commute filled with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Good thing we're stocked up on adult diapers at work!
So how is everyone? Winter is CRAP for seeing peeps. I can't wait until it gets warm and we get a chance to hang out at some social outdoor somethingorother. I'll share my snacks with you.
That will be nice.
I wish I had something fun to show you. Oh, my birthday is tomorrow, and I'll take a photo of the ABSOLUTELY INSANELY AWESOME antique dummy that Dave got me. He has composition head and hand pieces. We can't identify who he is even though we've spent a combined several hours of researching. He will blow your mind!!!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

What little bunnies are made of...

So today I just bought a baby head armature, a pound of Super Sculpey, some dehydrated rabbit ears, and a half dozen rabbit's feet. These along with some other parts will become a bunny container(s). It's really cool in my head. I hope it doesn't suck.

I think I've spent at least 12 hours this weekend sourcing materials for my new "thing I'm going to do". (Sharon, the "things" seem to come more frequently these days...) My new "thing" (I'm ignoring that voice) is containers (you know, for trinkets and whatnot) featuring some taxidermy items and some sculpted baby heads that will open and close and be the top of a container (like a tin can) that you can put stuff in. I'm thinking it will be a great gift for the friend or relative that has everything. The supplies are a lot more than just finding junk babies at the thrift store, but I'm hoping that people will appreciate the custom heads. We'll see. Or maybe I'll chicken out and not make them. I'll let you know either way.

How are you doing? I hope you're doing awesome! I hope you made resolutions, and I hope you're on your way to fulfilling all of your dreams. I hope you buy yourself something special that you've always wanted this week, even if it's just ice cream that only you will eat or that you hide WAY back in the refrigerator behind the big bag of frozen okra. You deserve it.